“Whilst all of his other friends were eyeing up Madonna by moonlight, he was learning about the Prancing Horses heritage”
Driving games are notoriously unrealistic. They arrive with a pretense of being the most “realistic driving simulator” and usually come with inspirational quotes from the likes of Michael Schumacher on the box. Once the glitz and glamour of packaging and turbo-charged graphics are worn away however, the actual experience usually turns into something a lot more boring. You’re usually presented with a well-rendered model of your ideal car, and are then expected to drive it with a controller that bears no resemblance whatsoever to the controls for a car. I’ve driven a few cars in my time, and never in any of them was the gear change controlled by a little green button. Nor was the accelerator actually a small trigger on the side of the steering wheel. And I may be wrong here but I’m pretty sure the car wasn’t presented to me in a third person view either. But here’s the thing. Aside from all of the technical problems associated with driving games, what they do offer you, especially if you’re racing a mate is a unique glimpse into their automotive mind. And that is a very interesting experience indeed.
As those of you who are in touch with your inner geek are probably aware, the game I’m talking about is the latest offering from the Forza series. This third installment really does have a tough act to follow. When it’s big brother came out a few years ago, I spent so much time staring blankly at the television screen my parents thought I might actually have slipped into a coma. But somehow Forza 3 offers you more than just a racing game, it offers you a chance to drive the most exotic cars on the planet from the outset. The first race in career mode for example puts you at the wheel of an Audi R8. None of this start in a Corsa and work your way up to a Ferrari nonsense.
I should probably explain why I was playing this game in the first place. Well, myself and one of my friends at university had an argument, quite a big one as it turns out. But being blokes, we’d forgotten about the whole thing five minutes later and went to settle things with a pint and a race. The rules were simple. 3 laps, any car, and the winner would be able to claim moral victory over the other. I’d expected him to head straight for the hyper car garage and pick out a Veyron, as most other people would have done. But no, to my astonishment he eventually chose a fantastic Ferrari F50, a magnificent car. He explained that he’d lusted after one for years and even went so far as to have a poster of it on his wall. Whilst all of his other friends were eyeing up Madonna by moonlight, he was learning about the Prancing Horses heritage. Over the next half hour we had several races, and each time he managed to make a truly informed decision over what type of car to choose. So what had started out as an apologetic make-up race had turned into petrol head heaven as I discovered that my friend does in fact know quite a lot about cars. This meant we could talk about which cars were the best. Which of course led to more arguing. Which also lead to more racing.
So yes, a very positive experience came out of playing a so called “driving simulator,” but to be honest I still don’t see the point in them. I mean, aside from giving you a view as to how your opponent’s brain is wired up, they’re really pretty useless. I can see the point of games that allow you to go online and throw grenades at another person halfway around the world. Because actually going out and doing it would be pretty stupid. But if you wanted a truly realistic driving game, why not just go for a drive instead? I guarantee it will be a more realistic experience, and the graphics are amazing. Why offer a virtual alternative to something that is readily available? I did some research into the other types of simulators people can buy, and honestly, only someone with more facial hair than common sense would find any of them interesting. Did you know you can actually buy a bus simulator? Why would you need, or want, to simulate a bus? Why would you want to virtually perceive such a horrible experience in the first place? Surely a bus journey in any form is horrific enough, without having to deal with it when you come home as well? And don’t think the simulator stupidity stops there either. There’s sailing games, flying games, virtual fishing, virtual cooking, there’s even virtual sex games for goodness sake! How unlucky do you have to be if you can’t even get laid virtually!
So far as I can see all so called “simulators” are pointless. I mean yes they can give you the experience of doing something you’d never normally get to do, but surely it would be better to have that experience for yourself? Rather than relying on a computer to give it to you. I don’t see the point in them and I’m sure I never will. But it seems that the nation’s youth are hooked onto any sort of simulator they can get their hands on. I’m sure of there was a street crime simulator they’d be queuing out the door for it. So in the absence of being able to change anyone’s opinion on the subject, if you don’t mind, I’m going for a drive. A real one.
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