Yesterday, the LTR said to me as I walk in the door, “I’m a bad person.” Immediately several answers pop into my head. The supplicating answer is, of course, “No, you’re not.” I didn’t answer that way. I could have said, “Yep, I know” or something along those lines, but I thought that might have been a little too flippant without finding out further information. So I went for the knowing smile and replied, “Really? What did you do now?”
A guy she used to know back in high school, went on a few dates with, and who she’d given the “Let’s Just Be Friends” speech to years ago, had contacted her via facebook a few months ago. I knew this at the time because he’d written her a long heartfelt message about his life in the eastern U.S. where he didn’t like the people and was so lonely. The LTR had shown me the message when it came in and read portions of it to me to get a guy’s take on the contents. The LTR’s description of this guy back in high school was that he was the dreaded ‘nice guy.’ Good enough to hang out with, but no girl would ever let it go beyond that.
The LTR was a bit creeped out by this guy’s message. To me it was the ultimate in DLV communication. Everything he said seems to push him farther and farther into the social outcast/omega end of the male social spectrum. I wanted to physically shake the guy and tell him to wake up. I wanted to tell him he would remain lonely and feeling like an outcast if his primary communication was one big advertisement of how pathetic his whole life was. I can’t fathom that there are guys who think they should be a gigantic pussy in order to get female attention, but there you go.
Fast forward to yesterday. This guy sends my LTR another message via facebook. For a variety of reasons, he decided to move back to the Big City. His family is here, so there’s some support there. There are also a lot of his old friends here. In his message he asked my LTR if she was available to meet for lunch to reconnect and catch up sometime this week. To which she replied that she was not interested. This made her feel guilty and she was looking for reassurance from me that she wasn’t a bad person for telling the guy ‘no thank you.’
The LTR tells me that she doesn’t want to see the guy and finds his attention just a little bit weird. The word creepy get’s used again. She asks me if I know what she means. I told her I did. I do understand the underlying message of her words. This poor man has sunk into Omega territory. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with the guy. He has become a woman repellant, 100% active ingredients.
The LTR proceeded to email her closest friend whom she has known since high school. This woman also knows this man. The LTR also wanted female reassurance that she was not a bad person for slamming the door on this guy. This female friend was quick to reassure her that she had done nothing wrong. Funny enough, her email back to the LTR was a half dozen paragraphs long of justifications.
Is it over? I don’t know. Stay tuned.
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